School is a place where a child first begins to adapt to life in a team. The further development of the child, his desire to communicate with new people and get new knowledge depends on how comfortable he feels there. Depending on how much the baby feels confident in school, his leadership qualities also depend. Sometimes it happens that a child begins to be offended, because of which he becomes self-contained, the desire to visit the place of training is lost. Parents of this state of affairs should not be allowed. We will understand what can be done in such situations.
Immediately it is worth mentioning that many children hide the fact that they are being hurt from their parents. In this case, you need to look at the behavior of your child, the signs may be as follows:
- The kid, for no apparent reason, refuses to attend school.
- On weekdays, your child is depressed, silent, and closes in on itself; at the same time, he becomes joyful and active at the weekend.
- By external signs: a child may have spoiled things, or you observe their absence (this point is controversial, since scattered children can often lose things).
What children are most often victims of mockery?
Many believe that children who are different from the general mass — appearance, habits, behavior, clothing — are usually subjected to peer attacks. In fact, it is not. Any kid can get into such a situation - just one wrong movement is enough, a secret about which the whole class has learned.
Important: The social status of the family in no way causes harassment. It does not matter how your child is dressed, whether he has new-fangled gadgets and other modern things. The same applies to features or defects in appearance.
Consider which kids are most often attacked:
- Victims - such children are apathetic, confused, often doubt themselves or their capabilities. They are not able to repel insults - naturally, classmates feel weak and begin to actively criticize the child.
- Aggressors - they themselves attack the people who surround them, and they respond to provocations with too violent reactions.
- Disadvantaged - if a child is dressed untidy, an unpleasant smell emanates from him, he is careless and rude, it is quite possible that in such a case he will become a victim.
If you want the crumb to feel well in any team - you need to cultivate a sense of self-worth in him, he must have an inner core.
How can parents not respond?
Consider how you should not behave if you find out that your baby is under attack:
- No need to leave him alone. Many parents do this, believing that the child will cope with the problem himself. He himself is not ready for this situation and has no idea how to solve it - therefore, your child needs help and support in any case.
- Change the place of study. It sometimes happens that the situation needs to be solved immediately, and there is no other way out of it - in such cases you can try changing the situation. But here, too, it must be remembered that there is no guarantee that the new school will not repeat everything. Another point: the child will be difficult to get used to and adapt to new people, and this is difficult psychologically.
- Take responsibility for yourself. Many parents prefer to take the problem completely into their own hands - this is not possible. If you go to sort things out with the class, with the teachers, this behavior can later turn those around you against your baby. Moreover, you should not go to an educational institution, without having discussed your decision with a schoolboy beforehand. It is important to respect the opinion of your child and listen to his feelings.
How to help the child?
There are several ways to solve the problem:
- Talk to your baby. Let him think about the question why he was chosen, it will help determine how to get out of this situation. It is important to make it clear to the child that he is innocent that he is being bullied.
- If a child is attacked in only one educational place, you need to find out if he needs help. Try to propose solutions to the situation, but you do not need to insist that he chose a particular option, even if the baby has the right of choice. Naturally, the role of parents here is very large - the child’s home must be respected, understood and accepted, he must feel safe.
- Try to offer the student to engage in any kind of sports, or enroll in the section on interests - there he will be able to find new friends, feel firmer. Hobby will not get hung up on the situation, which means that his mind will suffer minimal damage.
- It is important for mom and dad to help the child understand and understand what the conflict is, and also to analyze the behavior of the offenders and how he behaves with them. It may be that your child himself acts as a provocateur. No need to scold him, to condemn - it will only aggravate the situation. Make it clear that he only makes things worse for himself, and that the kid needs to change his behavior.
- If the reason - in appearance, it is necessary to make it clear to the child that he is not guilty of this. Explain that you love him with any - with excess weight, with scars or glasses.
- Basically, it is the violators who cause the conflict. What is the reason? People who need to assert themselves are being bullied because they feel uncomfortable - it is quite possible that such children are bullied at home. Parents need to convey to the child that people who do this are actually weak, and they need not be afraid. The only emotion that can be experienced by those who assert themselves at the expense of others is pity, because otherwise these children in life simply cannot feel comfortable.
- Explain that the abuser does not need to show tears - this will only aggravate the situation. For example, a child can fight back by saying that he offends him because he is afraid of him. Another option is to ignore the attackers. For example, a common situation in the classroom is taking a notebook, starting to play with it. A natural reaction, of course, is to take property away. You do not need to provoke the offender - you can simply say that he should play, and as soon as he gets tired of it - he can give the notebook. In this case, and the whole point of this mockery disappears - the notebook is returned to its place.
- You can try to contact the school - talk to the class teacher or head of the educational unit. This should be done calmly and without cavils. Finding a common solution to the problem together is ideal. In this case, to inform classmates, or to threaten them with violence is not worth it - it will cause aggression on their part.
Important: If a child is physically abused, then it is necessary to act immediately. Contact the law enforcement agencies, no need to wait until your baby is crippled and cause a huge moral injury.
It is also necessary to remember that the direct purpose of the teacher is to control the atmosphere in the classroom. This is an important aspect that many teachers, unfortunately, forget about.
How to develop a rod in a child?
Of course, if your baby initially has a strong spirit and character, the persecution will quickly cease. But all the kids are different - there are vulnerable and emotional kids. The task of the parent is not to blame the child for his character, but to make it clear that sometimes, in order for the team to feel "at ease", it is important to be strong morally. This can be done in several ways:
- Even if your baby hasn’t succeeded in anything, it’s important to admire them. After all, he tried, tried, discovered new skills. Otherwise, your child will be afraid to start a business next time - in case of failure, parents will again scold or condemn him. It is important that the child knows that you appreciate the efforts made and are proud of him.
- No need to overprotect the child. Otherwise, he will not be able to solve his own problems in the future, and this is necessary, because after school the child will be expected by the university, where moms and dads will not be around. Give your child the right to choose and the ability to solve their problems on their own; the parent’s task is to gently guide and prompt.
- No need to demand from the child any fantastic achievements. He tries anyway, so you need to take the baby as he is. Patience in the future will be rewarded a hundredfold - your task is to show it.
- Need to make a choice? Do not tell your child how best to act in a given situation, only he can decide. By imposing your opinion on the child, in any case, you shift the responsibility onto yourself, and the child eventually grows up to be a dependent person who cannot figure out the situation.
- Overly inquisitive children annoy many parents. All psychologists say that this is fundamentally wrong. Let your baby know this, be a support for him. Otherwise, how can he know the answer to the question?
- No need to criticize, and even more so - get angry. Naturally, it is necessary to explain to the child why it is impossible to do bad things in certain situations. Point out to him if he behaved incorrectly somewhere. But at the same time we should not forget about support, it is also important to offer various options for action.
- It is very important to teach the child to be persistent. He must understand that the path to victory is often long and difficult, and one should not give up in case of defeats, but stubbornly go towards his goal.
Following these tips, you can bring up a self-sufficient and self-confident person who certainly will not tolerate attacks from peers, and give them a fitting rebuff.
Child offended at school: lawyer's recommendations
- By law, any child has the right to live in a safe environment. If he is insulted, it is a direct violation, therefore, these people may incur criminal penalties.
- In any organization where children are taught, the task of the teacher is to provide a friendly atmosphere in the team.
- There are special institutions where you can go in case you are bullied by your child. They make sure that violators of rights are punished.
- No need to independently clarify the conflict with the offender or his parents. The best option is to solve the situation through the class teacher. Moreover, it is impossible to apply force in relation to the offenders of your baby - otherwise criminal responsibility falls on your shoulders.